By Erin Fuller

In the "is this an SNL skit or an actual product category" I received the release of Fujitsu's new computer, the "Floral Kiss." The introductory information reads a lot like a promotion for personal hygiene products, complete with a whole designed-by-women-for-women vibe.

I can't even comment on the name "Floral Kiss" with a straight face.

Where to begin? First of all, you may customize the color of your Floral Kiss – available in Elegant White, Feminine Pink or Luxury Brown.

And then – AND THEN – there are custom apps, just for us girls. (Please note before reading this: I am not making this up.) The apps consist of:

• Scrapbooking

• A Diary

• Horoscopes

In addition, they are collaborating with a jewelry designer to make little clutch purses in which to carry one's FK.

Dear Fujitsu: nice start, but there is SO MUCH MORE I am looking for from my lady-PC. Such as links to sites such as People.com , TeenBeat.com and USWeekly.com, for important gossipy updates. Built-in wallpaper of Ryan Gosling? Where is the Slam Book feature, that allows me to anonymously malign all of the people who are mean to me? Can it keep track of my homework? What about a playlist generator that selects pop hits based on my mood? And it goes without saying that the calendar must track our menstrual cycles as well as our outfits and who I sat with at lunch. Is there a lock to keep my little brother from snooping?

Oh wait: I'm not 14. And neither is average buyer of a PC.

Women already buy the majority of computers – 66%, in fact. I took a quick, informal poll around here and we find programs like Excel really useful. We like to dabble in Prezi. We are guilty of checking Facebook a little more than is probably healthy. But universally, I will say the sentiment surrounding the Floral Kiss was not one of gratitude to Fujitsu for finally "getting us" – but more stunned disbelief followed by helpless laughter.

We spend a lot of time around here discussing how to intelligently brand to intelligent women – and rule number one is "don't make it pink." I have never thought to include "don't assume our horoscope is a priority" but that may now go on the list. In short, I invite Fujitsu to reach out to the Alliance for Women in Media – as an organization of women in electronic media, we would have a lot to say about product development in this space. With or without a matching clutch.

What apps do you think they missed? Comment here, or tweet it to @erinmfuller or @allwomeninmedia.